Finding Your Own Dreams/ Making Them Real and How

     Truthfully, I do not like judgment of any kind, as to good or bad, what is okay and not.  This is only my own experience.  Sometimes, feelings of not being alive, feelings of apathy, whether or not a defense mechanism, can be self-made.  We may, for some reason or another, want to be alone.  Alone is not bad.  There is no judgment here.  I am merely saying that sometimes when I feel really closed in, suffocating, stifled, stagnating, a part of that is self-imposed.  I may for some reason need to protect myself from the outside world, and only fifty percent of my cloister may be caused by my circumstances.  Half of it may be caused by the way I have chosen to live.
     Chris Rock, the comedian, says in one of his stand ups, we have a video or DVD of, "you know how they have these crazy ads for drugs, like do you go to sleep at night and wake up in the morning?..." 
     Part of this is funny, and really funny, but partly I think, people do not want to wake up.  What I am saying is that life has become so hard for so many, that waking up is a challenge.  Going to sleep is easy, because it is an escape.  We have to sleep, for health, mental and physical.  It is a part of being a living thing, but it is the waking which is hard for us sometimes, and of course we do not want to wake up too early, which is what the ad probably really meant.
     One way of renewing a sense of self, is to throw out old stuff, including old behavior, old beliefs, old physical objects and possessions.  Throw out only what is no longer serving you, within and without.  Make goals, even if others would say they are unreachable.  Others may try to impose their own goals or agendas on you, and perhaps they are not being realistic, but only we can know what we can or cannot do.  So, make goals that you feel may be possible.  Do not tell others what your goals are, because they may discourage you or tell you it is not realistic.  Possible or not, the goals you aim for, are most likely, way more plausible than the ones that others, parents, peers, etc., put on you, because you and only you know what it is you truly want, and what is truly possible.  No one else knows, but you.
     So, if people tell you stupid ideas, just say, "that's interesting," but look forward to your own ideas, goals, and what you truly believe will make you happiest.  Hold tight to that, and forget the rest.  It may or may not come to be, but the closer you get to your own dreams, the better you will feel.  I have lived the dreams of others, have tried to believe the dreams of others, and it never works for me.  You have to find your own self, your own dreams, what you really, really want, and try to make that happen.  Do not say no, say how?  Namaste.