What I May Have Done Different

     I do not have many regrets, and truthfully, everything is as it should be or it would not be so, I guess.  I have acceptance, because I have learned to accept things.
     Looking at the white and pink gladiolas in an orange retro vase, I think about all the times I have been wigging out in the past, or drinking too much, or being with the wrong person, or wasting money on the wrong things, I realize I am not sorry about any of that, and have little regrets, but I have a few.  I would love to stand before you, break into song brilliantly, singing, I Did it My Way, like Elvis, but I will spare you.
     However, I would change a few things.  I would have tried to keep my house, as long as I could, when my marriage broke up, and I would have kept my kids' lives steady that way.
     Even though I would still have run out of money, I could have found a way to be resourceful, maybe.
     I would not have gone back to school, for the second time, having already gone back to school at thirty.  I would not have gone back at forty.  I would have kept teaching, until they gave me a permanent job, because I was good at that.
     I should have just majored in art, because I found it easy, free flowing, the class most easy for me.  Music was too, but took a lot of practicing and playing piano was hard for me, because I did not have a piano for long, growing up.
     Yes, I would have just gotten a degree in art, studio art.  It would have been easy for me, rather than jumping around like a butterfly, that could not focus too well on any one thing for too long.  My grades were good.  I will say that.
     I wish I never went to England or India in '96, and I wish I had never been romantically involved with a man with a foreign accent, not because of anything against foreigners, just that the relationship was bad for me.
     Other than that I am glad about everything.  I do not think I turned down a great chance about anything.  I just wish I had done those things different.  That is all.  And, I know that I must accept it as it is.  I know that all too well, and it is okay, just that I wish it were the way I said, if I had a choice to change.  Of course we all know that is not possible, so qu'est sera, sera, I guess.