There is No Way to Be Happy Unless We Stop Living Lies

      As long as we are in denial of truth, there can be no peace, no happiness.  Sometimes people try to use cunning and manipulation to lure us into more self-destruction.  They only darken our doorstep, until we have learned the lesson.  Insanity is repeating the same actions, expecting different results.  When we realize that what we are doing is not making us happy, it is time to stop.  It is like quitting a lousy, dead-end, going nowhere job.  We all have seen the writing on the wall, but we stayed, endured, but we were not happy.
     When you realize this to be true, it is time to take the power back.

Do Not Be Naive

     The world is full of darkness, selfishness, and ulterior motives.  There is really no such thing as a spiritual community.  Every church, for example is full of hypocrisy.  No board of anything is honest.
      The only thing that makes the world really go around is greed and money.  Evil is everywhere, where you would never expect it.  If you get swayed, hypnotized, conned, it is due to naivety.  Do not think the Meher Baba Center is free from this.  Watch your back, and do not trust the board of any project, whether it be a nonprofit organization, a church, a charity.  The world is full of falsehood, and motives are not pure.

Gossip is Poison/ No Intent to Help

     I recently made a blunder.  I blogged about a misfortune, but what I learned was that no one wanted to help me, that it only gave fuel to gossip.  Yes, people gossiped, and it got back to me, but no one offered to help me.  My bad.  I never should have aired anything about what was going on, on my blog, and especially should not have posted on facebook.
     People mean to be good and kind, but no one who spoke about my ordeal, ever offered to help in any way, while they called themselves a part of a spiritual community.  Only two people, other than my mother or sister, ever offered me help, out of the whole Baba community, other than my lawyer, and a girlfriend, who is a lawyer, and lives two-thousand miles from me.  One of those two people, was living in New York State at the time, not even here.  Well, that is just bull crap.  People are selfish, self-centered, self-serving m- f-ers!
     Just like some dumb church, people run their mouths about people with zero intention to ever help them in any way.  The more I know about this world, the less I like or wish to be a part of it.  People are two faced, back stabbing, hypocrites, who turn a blind eye on anyone in need, just like the bogus churches.  Next time you talk about someone else's misfortune, perhaps ask oneself, have I offered my assistance?  Have I gone to the source?  What is my reason for spreading this?  Are my intentions well meaning, or am I just looking for something to gab about, at another person's expense?  Most likely, this talk is to come of no good, and leads to nothing positive.  Unless you want to help someone, shut your mouth about it, and I will in the future refrain from talking about my personal life, even if it is a huge injustice.  There is no point in me telling about anything, if the reaction is hateful and lacking in any human kindness of any sort.  And where the hell is Meher Baba, the so called compassionate father, in all of that?

Benifits of Yoga

     There are many benefits in doing yoga.  Deep breathing and chakra meditation are helpful too.  Yoga helps you to relax, to sleep better, and keeps the body toned and in touch.
     There are things which can enhance your yoga practice, especially if doing at home.  One is a candle, then some incense.  I like to set an intent, a purpose, something to let go of.  I find that if I set an intention, such as letting go of guilt, for example, helps me to release that.
     When you meditate, see the colors of each chakra, as you go into alignment.  Do no harm.  Only do what your body is comfortable with, and rest in child's pose or relax, lying on your back, if you become tired.  Remember to breath.  Just breath through the nose, the entire time.
     You will sleep better, if at night, and you will have more energy to start the day, if in the morning.  Yoga can even make one euphoric at times.

Questions I Hate and Why I Hate Them

     Maybe I just have a complex, but there are questions I hate.  Why?  I hate these because I feel I am being singled out for these type of questions, because I am either visually impaired, not wealthy, or do not have a car, or maybe they just think I am weird.  Perhaps they think I am a loser or I just do not have a life.
     The first one is, "what do you do all day?"  This either implies I have no obvious purpose, I have a boring life, or I am a major loser.  The next one is, and mind you, not everyone asks these questions, I just hate it when they do: "where do you find the time to do all this...?," writing, sewing, crocheting, singing, or whatever they think I am able to do a lot of.  It seems ironic, considering the fact that they wonder what I do all day.  I have the same number of hours in a day as everyone else on this planet.
     Last, but not least, I hate to be asked, "what do you for fun?"  What do others do for fun?  What kind of fun?  What is fun?  Riding a roller coaster?  Going on a picnic?  Truthfully, I live my life, and some things are fun, and some more like work, but I do not go around thinking, 'gee what will I do for fun today?'  I just do not think that way, and anyway, I just think it is a rhetorical or odd question.  So, there you go, the questions I hate.
     So, do you want to know what I think would be better questions?  Do you want to know what I think would be better comments?  The other one is "how do you get around?"  Perhaps my life is not their business.  Could I be too guarded.  I think a good question is something that makes me feel like an equal, rather than a weird person.  For example: "are you seeing anyone?," or "what project are you working on?," or "what is life like as a visually impaired person in a town with no public transportation?," and/ or "are you close to your family?," and "I imagine you have friends." 
     Last but not least, they could say, "you do really well with your life," or "you must have some lasting connections, being from this town."

How to Know If the Relationship You Are in Is a Healthy One

     In the eighties there were relationship workshops in Los Angeles where I lived with my ex-husband.  One we did was 'Loving Relationships' based on Louise Haye's book.
     Now I have a theory that there are seven ways of knowing whether or not a relationship is a loving one or a healthy one.  I realize that there is probably some love in even a bad relationship, but it may not be enough to make the relationship stable.
     Here are questions one can ask oneself: 1) Do I truly feel comfortable in this relationship or do I feel like the other shoe is going to drop?  2) Am I stressed at work and screwing up at my responsibilities, such as driving my car or taking care of my child?   3) Do I truly trust this person with money, my life, my child, my dog...?  4) Do the requests of the person I am with make me uncomfortable in any way, such as financial, something involving physical or social intimacy, or wanting me to live somewhere that I do not want to?  5) Do I fight with this person a lot, or is our relationship loving a good bit of time?  6) Do I get a sense that my partner is interested or thinking about someone else?   And finally, 7) Am I taking more of my share of responsibility in terms of house work, money making, bill paying or is it fairly balanced, where if one person is doing one part, the other does the other part?
     If the answer was negative on four of these, you need to take another look at things, rethink, regroup, and maybe say goodbye.  If you answered positively to four out of seven, then you may just need to work on the other three.  If you answered negatively to most, then you should get out as fast as you can, and if you answered positively to most, consider your mate a keeper!  Do not despair if the results of these questions are bad, just realize that the sooner you face the truth, the better chance for a truly loving relationship.
     One more love tip: if you are torn between two lovers and cannot make up your mind, close your eyes.  The one who steps forward is the one, the one who appears first.  If someone completely different, like someone you do not even know yet, then it means that neither is the one, because someone else is coming your way, who you are going to be with.
     The Romanies had a wicca spell to see who to pick, but I am not much for white magic anymore, or psychics.  I think the answers are within ourselves.  Just keep doing yoga and meditation, and keep the chakras open and aligned.  The third eye knows the answer, for the sixth chakra, the third eye, is the chakra of illumination, enlightenment, knowledge and insight, beyond the sight of physical eyes.  The more my eye sight diminishes, the more sight I have from within.  Namaste.

Know You Are a Winner, Because You Are a Survivor; You Did That...

     Yes, what I want to say is what the title says.  You win, because you survived.  No matter how bad events in your life, it may not seem like it, but if you are a survivor, someone who really wants to live, to beat the odds, to make the most, then you are a winner.
     Some people might think I am a loser, because I am not rich or not married or the fact that I am legally blind, but they are wrong.  I am more because I am not rich, more because I do not need a man to define who I am, or validate me.  I am more because I have hardships to overcome.  I have brought up two sons on my own.  I have survived an atrocious relationships that never should have been.
     I have a choice today, whether to dwell on mistakes, or to go forward, and I choose the latter.  I choose life.  Life.  I choose life today and everyday.  I choose not to dwell on pain and suffering, not to dwell on disasters of the past, grief or loss.
     I am a winner, and you are probably a winner too.  You have survived, and that makes you a winner.  You have the scars to prove it, but like me, you watch them fade away.