Usually, the longer a relationship in time, the more impressions and karma with that person, and the more likely is marriage and children involved. These are the important relationships, and not necessarily are there children or legal marriage, but I think that the longer the time, the stronger the entanglement, and the harder to escape if that is what you want or need to do.
I do not want anyone ever to think that I am down on relationships. I am not jaded or anything of the sort. I love love as much as anyone. However, I have suggestions from what I have learned.
If someone leaves you, do not take them back, especially if they left you for another. No matter how they plead, just say no. They will only leave again, and are rebounding back to you, which is very disrespectful.
Rebounding is not always bad. For example, if you are in an abusive relationship, and you have to get away to save yourself, it does not matter who or what it takes to stay away. If you fall into someone's arms, perhaps it is a good thing. Do not let guilt from religious upbringing dictate your happiness. Do not judge yourself. Do not let others judge you. Of course honesty is important, and so is integrity, but when someone abuses you, and you have told them it is over, then you are free to do what you want.
The other thing is, do not answer the phone, unless you are truly and mindfully prepared to talk. This will only knock you off ground and off center. Do not answer the phone. Use caller ID, an answering machine, voice mail, whatever you have, but do not let this familiar voice try to persuade you back into something that is not healthy for you.
Stop worrying what this person thinks of you. The stronger you are, and the less you care, the more they want you anyway, so stop caring what they think of you.
Lastly, just try thinking about yourself for awhile, whether you take a vacation or just spend some time doing something just for you, this will help to realign your thinking. Do not dwell on the relationship, the person you broke up with. Focus on yourself, give yourself permission, respect your space, and move on. In the end you will find yourself saved and refreshed for a more beneficial hour. Give yourself time to grieve, whatever it is you need, and when you have let go of this baggage, you will find yourself refreshed and anew, ready to love again if that is what you want. The more you are ready to be alone, the more you are ready for new and lasting love. The most important relationship is the one with yourself and learning to love yourself. All else can only follow this important premise.
